i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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