i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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