She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The air was thick with penises
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
