Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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