So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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