in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
