he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize