I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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