Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
