So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize