do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
