he told me I talked like a deaf person
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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