You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
