how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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