Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
