oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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