i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
