is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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