so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
