i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How external is "for external use only"?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
