I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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