That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
