Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize