I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
