My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
