Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
