i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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