my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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