marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sobbing to NWA
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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