...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
