Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
