We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I love having hate sex.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
