Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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