It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
