He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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