Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There are leaves in my underwear?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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