before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
