ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
