she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
