he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
