I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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