i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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