nut hugger
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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