Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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