What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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