he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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