Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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