Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
false alarm, still single
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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