masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
