people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
