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I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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