So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
