Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
