You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At least make sure they are 18
Why
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
