sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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