He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
