he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
