you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
nutella sex= disaster
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
