i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
