her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
