Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
