Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
